Puberty in College

It is funny and ironic and sad to watch everything around you change. It is like an Alanis Morissette except not in a horrible accent and very clearly articulated. Sometimes I think all I hear coming out of my mouth is 'blah blah blah I'm a dirty tramp'. But I am not. I wish I was but I can't pull off the high skirts and big tits. I just don't have the spine for it.

I am making friends with the volleyball girls one by one. It is like they are slowly succumbing to a zombie virus. The virus being me. I am also in the mood of depression, well I used to be. Intermediate Accounting is kicking my ass. It tears my heart out of my chest with athlete's foot infected hands, and throws it on the floor. Then it chops it up with the Blendtec blender as if it were making guacamole on Sunday gameday. Then it throws my decimated blood pumper into fire....started with tears and shame and lighter fluid and a hint of that horrible smelling Axe body spray. Then it gently plucks my heart paste out of the ashes and throws it out of the window in I-35 next to the downtown exit. Needless to say it is making me consider changing my major. It is mostly the teacher's fault. I do not like that nincompoop one bit. Sometimes I want to rip his jaw out through his poop chute. I have no idea where all this creativity is coming from but I like it. And I am not this violent but there is so much bad stuff that has happened to me already that shit needs to turn real good real quick,*ghetto girl Z-snap*.

One thing that is good is the actual class make up for Accounting. I have my friend Magie which is fucking awesome and who is fucking awesome. Then there are some people that are in there that are just funny. There is somebody that I would like to get to know more, Jasmine. Hopefully we will do ice cream soon. I am looking forward to it. On another good note, we, meaning my team and I, have won our intramural volleyball game. It was an intense match. Probably one of the most fun matches I have ever played. I am looking forward to the game we have on Sunday at 9 (shameless plug) because it is against the Pirates. It should be fun also.

There was some other shit I was going to tell you but I have forgotten it. Beep boop bop. Oh I finally can get songs off of youtube again. Thank you for updates. I have discovered all these songs and shows recently and it is sad because I barely have time to enjoy all of them. But actually that last sentence was a lie. I have been doing all those. Sorry, my b for lying. You know, I think I should write a book. I doubt anybody would read it but it sure as hell would be funny and awkward. Hopefully, it be made into a movie, and I will not even care what kind of movie, the big screen, straight to dvd, hell, I will even do a Lifetime movie. I ain't got no shame. I just wants da monies. I just want da dolla dolla bills trick.

I kind of wish I could keep up with my life postings so that you, my audience, could know what crazy and over hyperbolized things that I say about my life which is quite boring. I will get back to doing stuff that I am probably not supposed to be doing. Alright, later.

California

So much has happened since the last time I spit some fresh words your way. So much I am blanking on it. So, while I collect my thoughts please enjoy this music. Now that I have had time to think I shall begin.

ON the plane to California I sat next to this guy and across from the aisle, on the window side sat another guy. Plain and simple right? Well, on my layover flight from LAX to SFO those same two guys were in the plane. Crazy how we got the same plane and we sat in the same row. I think it was some sort of Final Destination sign that says that we escaped death. Which reminds me, there is a new Final Destination movie. Trailer here. Watching those movies always makes me uncontrollably shaky. I have no idea why. It is like I developed a serious case of Parkinson's Disease for the hour and 30 minutes that the movie is. I am shaking, trying to keep my nerves and not look like a scared little bitch but when some pops up, hot damn am I in the air like Baby, I was born that way.

OH shit, yeah. I went to one of the many Redwood Forests here in Cali, and was it what I wanted. I loved feeling so small with the giant ass trees. So much so that I actually bought a giant Sequoia that I am going to plant on the campus of Steds. Boom chaka laka. Oh and I got to go to Stockton and visit the University of Pacific. Holy shit is that a nice ass campus or what. I will literally transfer there just for the scenery.

I played tennis for three hours and that was fun. And then I went to San Jose. And to Albany, and tickled Berkley. To Marin County I went and blazed past Oakland. I am going to go to Santa Cruz and Carmel next but before that I shall see Harry Potter 7 AHHHAHAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHH. excited. I think I want to abandon life and live here for a good 3 months but move back to Texas. Ya know you got me runnin back for more babe. Good ol' Texas. It is also hard to free ball here because it is not your average temperatures for summer. Try highs of 70s. That is not even a high. I call that air conditioning where I come from. I have yet to use my fancy clothes but I shall do that. So look at my album and get a taste of what I did. Until next time my hardcore fans. Later.

What What

So this is the first post I have done as a 'in-a-relationship man', you know what...its counterpart sounds way better. Anyways, I have met somebody. A girl. And she likes me. Is there any more I could ask for? YEAH, A SHIT TON MORE I CAN ASK FOR, but I am a humble man so I will shorten my list to 3 things.

1. waterproof, shockproof, freezeproof camera
2. Mini Cooper Countryman
3. more money so I can buy items 1&2 over and over again.

Oh hey, big whoops for me for finally getting that damn elusive iPhone 4 in white. Next subject, I have been asking these life questions on Facebook lately. I kind of like it. Oh and I need to start working out more. Plus I need more shoes. You know what I realized that I am just saying random things with no connection betwixt them. My English teachers would be furious. But hey, this is my style of writing. If someone can write in all lower case letters then damn it I can write whatever the hell I want.

Kathy Griffin is coming on today. Sadly I am going to miss it. I am at work and so yup. I am totes excited though because I am going to go to Aussie's tonight and play some sand volleyball. I look forward to that every week. Really, like come Monday I am like, is it Wednesday yet? And I also need to get a new tennis racket. While we are on the subject of that I am getting good at tennis for only being a beginner. I mean I am biased but whatever, people can be racist and so I can be biased. Isn't that how the world works. I really wish I had legos. I want to build a dinosaur and the suv from Jurassic Park. I would like to recreate the whole T-Rex vs. SUV scene. And I realized that I keep pushing buttons with my face on my iPhone. Why does this mug have to be so beautiful and yet so disobedient? I found out that one of my non-relative relatives is coming to escuela con migo. I am actually going to meet up with him tomorrow. I like how I have a set week. Monday Tuesday, my house. Wednesday-Saturday, with my gf Erica. And Sunday is back at my house. I could have just put that in the beginning of the sentence but that would take away the suspense of where you think I am on Sunday. I saw you reading it. Palms sweaty, heart racing, waiting, silently, yearning for the answer of my location on Sunday. I saw it in your face holes.

I really should keep on top of this blog. Sand volleyball is great. I think I am doing better at setting. I am excited to see it on the court where I can move faster and actually spike. Damn 8 foot tall nets, shit. I think that is enough ranting and raving and r....r....r....recycling? I don't know. Later. Oh shit. I forgot to tell you I will give you some random pictures soon. And by soon I mean next post. Ok now I am leaving. Later.

Guess What Time It Is

Yup, it is I, Sam, and I have decided to blog. I know crazy right? Well it is the 25th of April and it is hella hot in my room. I just took a shower and now I am drying off au natural. I have decided that I would like to stretch my scrotum. But I have also decided that will not be a good idea. When I lay down and fart, it hums by my testicles. It is quite lovely but I digress. I don't know what I want to do. But I have options. I want to start training for a triathlon. That is what I want to do. I also want to work at the RCC but I don't know if that would work out because I am going to take a class in the summer and hours will need to be changed. I do want to make this the summer where I am employed at Best Buy. I have been wanting to work there but they do not see my passion. I need to show them, nay, I will show them. I wonder if REI will sponsor me if I do a triathlon. Gosh, baby oil makes you skin so smooth. I still don't have pictures that I said I would but now it has been so long that I don't remember what I was going to upload. So a picture of the Jack in the Box man will have to suffice. This week is going to suck. Finals are rearing their ugly heads and paper and paper and paper ( p.s. Attach Ss at the end of paper). I hate that I make a whole bunch of friends at the end of the semester. It happens all the time. Whatevs, at least it happens. I need to invest in a fan or you know a tornado. Whichever one is cheaper and eco-friendly. Later fools

A While

I am feel weird. It is like a tsunami of apathy washed over me. I do not know where it came from but it is has already done damage. I wish I could better analyze myself. I do not know why I think the way I do. Sometimes I know, most of the time I do not. I try my best but sometimes my best is not enough. I feel like this feeling is brought about because of the anniversary of my birth. It will two decades ago from Saturday. I think it is because I feel like a failure. Thing I want to do still have not been able to find time. Life is just rushing by each second at a time. Each second I am growing wiser, each second I am getting closer to death, each second I can not gain back (See, I do not know where this is coming from). A happy point in my life is Lily Allen. I have fallen in love with her. I have also enjoyed the time when Courtney was here. Honestly, when she left, I felt like something inside of me left with her. Maybe it is an infatuation but maybe it is more. I do not know. Something left me and I know I cannot get it back. I have had this feeling before. Once, when I left my family in California when I visited them long ago and another time when summer came about freshman year and it was time for Jordan and I to depart ways to go back home. I need to be by water. Just like Dinah from the Red Tent. I honestly feel good when I am in water. I am a Pisces so water is natural to me. I also know that people who like water are very complex. Psh, me in a nut shell. Also, a contradiction. My feeling are all over the place but maybe that is where they need to be. I know everything happens for a reason but that reason eludes me all the time. I go with the flow without know where the current is taking me. I lift my head up to take a peek but once I prepare for the future, boom, waterfall. I am having a heck of time finding somebody to love, hell, even like. I wish my sexual disposition was not so varied when it came towards women. Blah blah, who cares right? I had a dream in which I have to explain in a vlog. It will be a high point in the post and not a debbie downer. I always wonder what will happen if one day I am gone from this life. Who will come to my services, who will cry, who will even think "Rest in Peace, Sam"? I am not saying this as a suicide, FAR FROM IT. I like challenges way to much to take myself out of the game. But it crosses my mind. Mostly in dreams. I heard that when you die in a dream, you die in real life. I cannot say if this is true because I have not died in any of my dreams. Others have but not me. I told you I am a fighter. I know what I need. A good dose of I Survived. That show is the shit and I will love it till the day of judgment and then, I will still love the fuck out of it. And I know that was a comma splice but I do not care. It is my style. It is there to add emphasis. That is why I hate writing for other people. You think I can't write but I think you have no creativity. Classic Art vs. Academics. I am not going to lie this time. I will post pictures of funny and cool shit I like next post. Pinky Promise. Anyway Later.

Normal

What is it to be the norm? I was thinking today in Operations Management, what if I where in an alternate universe, parallel and what not. I got sent there and then I am not normal because in the universe everybody has a lisp or Sharkbears patrol the city or maybe something insignificant as making a lower grade on my biology exam. Even though the change is nothing, it is still not normal for me. And then I Struggle to find the universe that I am from, but with all these changes I do not know which universe is my normal. Then I just get caught in this cycle of not able to get home, to something familiar. But then I realized what if I am not even the normal (original) universe, what if I am in an alternate universe looking for the original where I think I come from but it is not home. Then I thought to myself, normal is only something that was radical but has been adopted by many until it became, well, normal. Then I thought about this picture I took, making me want to sing out,"one of these things is not like the other". I wonder if you can find it. I think I should be in philosophy class with all this brain matter but I do not think they will have use for my useless irrelevant conundrums. But I do know what they need, SOCK'EM BOPPERS! I use to have some. But I do not know where they went. Also is it "use to" or "used to"? I just confused myself when writing the sentence where it is mentioned. Also, I have nothing to do, as in homework, so I decided to lay in bed and pretend to sleep. This is not happening as I am writing a blog. I have a racquetball match tomorrow and I am excited for it and I will play my best. I want my camera already. Oh and since my last post my situation has not gotten any better but it also have not gotten worse. So yeah.

I would like to let you know that I separated this because people do not like reading long blocks of text without spacing. Isn't that weird. NO it is not. I think if I ever fail to read a book and I have to write a paper about it, I would turn in a length requirement fulfilling paper with the fist and only thing in my paper is 'TL;DR'. And maybe I will attach a meme or something to it. Hopefully if the teacher is awesome, he or she would just laugh and give me a 70 for it.

I also have a crush on my Teacher for Business Communication. She is married but I mean who does not want a little three-way to spice up their marriage? Psh, prudes, that is who? Honestly, I put that question mark there to see if you would read it as a question; where your voice ends an octave or two higher. I do not know if it worked but I can sure try. Anyways, later.

SO....

I made some oatmeal the other day and by other day I mean like 2 weeks ago. This is a really late post because I have just been doing a lot of stuff and just have not found the time to blog now. It is quite sad now that I think about it but whatever. What is done is done.

So back to the story, I made oatmeal and it was Lavish dark chocolate oatmeal with honey and chocolate milk. Not only was this concoction the best but I was also afraid that I might get diarrhea. That did not happen so I was proud of my body to take so much abuse. WOO HOO. Samuel Gonzales 1 Proponents to diarrhea 0.

The second picture is of my desk where I am currently hoarding snacks. I feel like I am about to go into hibernation but this is not possible because no bear hibernates in the spring time or close to spring time. That is a winter thing and I do not believe nature would allow me to change its rules. Last time I tried. Bad stuff happened. And I am being general because I do not remember what happened but I know it was bad and that I will never do it again. I still have a shit load of pictures to put up but I want to draw on some of them and others I would like to mess around with them and censor them because I feel like the FCC right now.

I am all done with work in the BUSI class I am taking and there is nothing else I am doing other than this blog. That is how I found the time. So I am having mixed feelings all around and I do not know what to do with them except for bottle them up real quick because I know they will be resolved around next month. I can wait till then but I do not know if others can and that is part of the dilemma. Sometimes I feel like I should stop trying to look for what I want, what I need, in this life and just wait for it to come to me. There is only so much that the human heart can take before it becomes something like a black hole. I am going to try my hardest to keep it away from such a thing but sometimes I need help.

On a lighter note, there was a suicide attempt near campus yesterday night and it ended without a body bag but I was kind of hoping for it to because I do not believe in domestic violence and any prick who think he can hit a women deserves to die.

I found 50 cents in my pocket and I yelled success. It was so marry. I thought of something else that was kind of funny but after writing that morbid comedy up there, I forgot it. Maybe it will come back to me as I rant about how I forgot it. ....... NOPE. Oh well.

I have a Racquetball match this Friday at 1:30 in the RCC. So if you would like to watch and cheer me on, that would be greatly appreciated. I heard a saying the other day that went a little like this, "Throw the baby out with the bathwater". I was shocked that I thought it was so amusing. I still do. The other one was: Apathy, laid back to the max. Sounds exhausting and not very apathetic but whatever gets your motor turnin and your boat rockin, is fine with me. I will think of more when I draw on some picture and make some other stuff happen. LATER.

It Starts

I am sitting here in my new chair. School starts in t-minus something hours and some change, and I am excited. I would and could be more joyful but my stomach and other innards are raging against some type of machine. I drew a picture for you of what it looks like.



So there it is. I went to the Outlet Mall in Round Rock and then visited IKEA. Jacob, Jordan and Evan joined me. It was successful. Got chair, bitchin curtains, doo-doo brown pants, regular pants, black and yellow socks (Wiz Kalifa?) and some mass X gravity training gloves (weight). I am waiting for a hella lot of packages to come in. More clothes and a mattress topper. Sleep like a baby? I think so. Wait, does sleeping like a baby mean you wake up at odd hours crying for some tits? That doesn't make sense when you think about it.

I have not even printed out where I need to go for my classes. I shall do that or something sometime in the next 10 minutes. Can somebody stab me in the back so it can actually have a reason to inflict pain upon me. Yeah, I think I am spent, Ultimate was amazing, took a lot, I gave a lot, even exchange I would say. Later.

Well Well. We Meet Again

I feel so weird writing this entry on my computer. I have been doing it from my phone that this change of scenery is causing me to shiver. No, that can't be. OH, I know why, IT IS DAMN COLD. 9℃, and all I am wearing is a t-shirt and some shorts, AND THAT IS ALL. *WINK WINK* I feel like those are some angry winks or something. Like their sole purpose is to inform you that this is a wink that shall not fall on blind eyes. Something so obvious that if you miss it, it was probably because you were looking for it, and even then you would see it. So if you don't see it then I just don't know. I feel like you should make a deal with the devil and just fault on the deal and hand over your soul because you don't deserve it. Sorry, that was harsh. I apologize to your eyes for reading that.

So I missed Wipeout today and hopefully it will come on Hulu, I shall be quite sad if it does not.

I forgot to tell you about the veins. Alright, so I have this moderately bearable fear of veins. And it is not the vein itself, but what can happen to it. I do not like veins that pop out. I mean I like them in moderation but if they do one thing wrong and become too much, I have to look away. But the main problem is that someone can sever them. Most of the time I imagine somebody pinching the vein and lifting it up from its semi-protection of the body and plunging scissors into the skin, isolating the vulnerable vein in the middle of the slicing blades and then somebody closing the gap between the handles. Blood gushing everywhere, vein retreating into the body never being able to be closed. Death. That is one of my two biggest fears. The other is prostate cancer. I have been loving myself to make sure that the risk of the second is minute.

So I do not know if I said this but Easy A is an amazing movie. Freakin' funny as fuck. With that, I made 3 resolutions.

1. Deviate from the plan
2. Become healthier (not be skinny but make healthier decisions)
3. Minimize inhibitions

I think I can do these and I will become a better person. Oh and I am letting my facial hair grow. Not to unmanageable proportions but to where I can encourage a small patch of skin to become self conscience about its surroundings and grow hair. I found out that you can exercise your penis. I was stunned. I was like 'wha?!?' I didn't know that it was a muscle, and apparently it is. I got some Barnes and Noble gift cards and so I bought a book about it. I am weird. Did you know I can speak Braille? Here is my name: ⠓⠁⠍
Awesome right? I also got some yoga stuff because I decided I should do it to become more flexible for Ultimate and because doing it was almost like a cure. I have mid-lower back problems from an injury in highschool. When I was doing yoga in Theater class it actually helped. I didn't have one problem that whole year. I have been spending a lot of money lately, cash though. Something, I am not used it. I usually keep it almost entirely digital, but I guess it is a change and I am accomplishing my first resolution.

Some days I wonder if I will find love or if I will be single all my life. Sometimes I make up situations in my head about events that would never happen and try to make them emotional as can be using different techniques. I believe that if I were to write a chick flick, it would be the highest grossing film and would make you cry like the people were of your closest relationship. I think I can write dramas better than my favorite genre, horror, but that is the thing about being a Pisces. You love one thing and are horrible at it but you don't have a passion for another but you are excellent at it. Contradictions. Starbursts should just base their commercials off of me. I was supposed to read but I have not. I will finish this book. I have to. I rented other books from the public library and they are about mythology. And that one I really want to read. I am a sucker for mythology. I know I have more important stuff to say. Oh yeah. I organized and cleaned my room and I have this awesome wire crate system happening in my closet, which I don't know if I mentioned it. I have been downsizing my room. I know I am going to have a blast when I have to move out. Crap it is cold. I guess I will just go to sleep. I have to arrange a situation. I am going to see how silver my tongue really is. Later