Guess What Time It Is

Yup, it is I, Sam, and I have decided to blog. I know crazy right? Well it is the 25th of April and it is hella hot in my room. I just took a shower and now I am drying off au natural. I have decided that I would like to stretch my scrotum. But I have also decided that will not be a good idea. When I lay down and fart, it hums by my testicles. It is quite lovely but I digress. I don't know what I want to do. But I have options. I want to start training for a triathlon. That is what I want to do. I also want to work at the RCC but I don't know if that would work out because I am going to take a class in the summer and hours will need to be changed. I do want to make this the summer where I am employed at Best Buy. I have been wanting to work there but they do not see my passion. I need to show them, nay, I will show them. I wonder if REI will sponsor me if I do a triathlon. Gosh, baby oil makes you skin so smooth. I still don't have pictures that I said I would but now it has been so long that I don't remember what I was going to upload. So a picture of the Jack in the Box man will have to suffice. This week is going to suck. Finals are rearing their ugly heads and paper and paper and paper ( p.s. Attach Ss at the end of paper). I hate that I make a whole bunch of friends at the end of the semester. It happens all the time. Whatevs, at least it happens. I need to invest in a fan or you know a tornado. Whichever one is cheaper and eco-friendly. Later fools

A While

I am feel weird. It is like a tsunami of apathy washed over me. I do not know where it came from but it is has already done damage. I wish I could better analyze myself. I do not know why I think the way I do. Sometimes I know, most of the time I do not. I try my best but sometimes my best is not enough. I feel like this feeling is brought about because of the anniversary of my birth. It will two decades ago from Saturday. I think it is because I feel like a failure. Thing I want to do still have not been able to find time. Life is just rushing by each second at a time. Each second I am growing wiser, each second I am getting closer to death, each second I can not gain back (See, I do not know where this is coming from). A happy point in my life is Lily Allen. I have fallen in love with her. I have also enjoyed the time when Courtney was here. Honestly, when she left, I felt like something inside of me left with her. Maybe it is an infatuation but maybe it is more. I do not know. Something left me and I know I cannot get it back. I have had this feeling before. Once, when I left my family in California when I visited them long ago and another time when summer came about freshman year and it was time for Jordan and I to depart ways to go back home. I need to be by water. Just like Dinah from the Red Tent. I honestly feel good when I am in water. I am a Pisces so water is natural to me. I also know that people who like water are very complex. Psh, me in a nut shell. Also, a contradiction. My feeling are all over the place but maybe that is where they need to be. I know everything happens for a reason but that reason eludes me all the time. I go with the flow without know where the current is taking me. I lift my head up to take a peek but once I prepare for the future, boom, waterfall. I am having a heck of time finding somebody to love, hell, even like. I wish my sexual disposition was not so varied when it came towards women. Blah blah, who cares right? I had a dream in which I have to explain in a vlog. It will be a high point in the post and not a debbie downer. I always wonder what will happen if one day I am gone from this life. Who will come to my services, who will cry, who will even think "Rest in Peace, Sam"? I am not saying this as a suicide, FAR FROM IT. I like challenges way to much to take myself out of the game. But it crosses my mind. Mostly in dreams. I heard that when you die in a dream, you die in real life. I cannot say if this is true because I have not died in any of my dreams. Others have but not me. I told you I am a fighter. I know what I need. A good dose of I Survived. That show is the shit and I will love it till the day of judgment and then, I will still love the fuck out of it. And I know that was a comma splice but I do not care. It is my style. It is there to add emphasis. That is why I hate writing for other people. You think I can't write but I think you have no creativity. Classic Art vs. Academics. I am not going to lie this time. I will post pictures of funny and cool shit I like next post. Pinky Promise. Anyway Later.

Normal

What is it to be the norm? I was thinking today in Operations Management, what if I where in an alternate universe, parallel and what not. I got sent there and then I am not normal because in the universe everybody has a lisp or Sharkbears patrol the city or maybe something insignificant as making a lower grade on my biology exam. Even though the change is nothing, it is still not normal for me. And then I Struggle to find the universe that I am from, but with all these changes I do not know which universe is my normal. Then I just get caught in this cycle of not able to get home, to something familiar. But then I realized what if I am not even the normal (original) universe, what if I am in an alternate universe looking for the original where I think I come from but it is not home. Then I thought to myself, normal is only something that was radical but has been adopted by many until it became, well, normal. Then I thought about this picture I took, making me want to sing out,"one of these things is not like the other". I wonder if you can find it. I think I should be in philosophy class with all this brain matter but I do not think they will have use for my useless irrelevant conundrums. But I do know what they need, SOCK'EM BOPPERS! I use to have some. But I do not know where they went. Also is it "use to" or "used to"? I just confused myself when writing the sentence where it is mentioned. Also, I have nothing to do, as in homework, so I decided to lay in bed and pretend to sleep. This is not happening as I am writing a blog. I have a racquetball match tomorrow and I am excited for it and I will play my best. I want my camera already. Oh and since my last post my situation has not gotten any better but it also have not gotten worse. So yeah.

I would like to let you know that I separated this because people do not like reading long blocks of text without spacing. Isn't that weird. NO it is not. I think if I ever fail to read a book and I have to write a paper about it, I would turn in a length requirement fulfilling paper with the fist and only thing in my paper is 'TL;DR'. And maybe I will attach a meme or something to it. Hopefully if the teacher is awesome, he or she would just laugh and give me a 70 for it.

I also have a crush on my Teacher for Business Communication. She is married but I mean who does not want a little three-way to spice up their marriage? Psh, prudes, that is who? Honestly, I put that question mark there to see if you would read it as a question; where your voice ends an octave or two higher. I do not know if it worked but I can sure try. Anyways, later.

SO....

I made some oatmeal the other day and by other day I mean like 2 weeks ago. This is a really late post because I have just been doing a lot of stuff and just have not found the time to blog now. It is quite sad now that I think about it but whatever. What is done is done.

So back to the story, I made oatmeal and it was Lavish dark chocolate oatmeal with honey and chocolate milk. Not only was this concoction the best but I was also afraid that I might get diarrhea. That did not happen so I was proud of my body to take so much abuse. WOO HOO. Samuel Gonzales 1 Proponents to diarrhea 0.

The second picture is of my desk where I am currently hoarding snacks. I feel like I am about to go into hibernation but this is not possible because no bear hibernates in the spring time or close to spring time. That is a winter thing and I do not believe nature would allow me to change its rules. Last time I tried. Bad stuff happened. And I am being general because I do not remember what happened but I know it was bad and that I will never do it again. I still have a shit load of pictures to put up but I want to draw on some of them and others I would like to mess around with them and censor them because I feel like the FCC right now.

I am all done with work in the BUSI class I am taking and there is nothing else I am doing other than this blog. That is how I found the time. So I am having mixed feelings all around and I do not know what to do with them except for bottle them up real quick because I know they will be resolved around next month. I can wait till then but I do not know if others can and that is part of the dilemma. Sometimes I feel like I should stop trying to look for what I want, what I need, in this life and just wait for it to come to me. There is only so much that the human heart can take before it becomes something like a black hole. I am going to try my hardest to keep it away from such a thing but sometimes I need help.

On a lighter note, there was a suicide attempt near campus yesterday night and it ended without a body bag but I was kind of hoping for it to because I do not believe in domestic violence and any prick who think he can hit a women deserves to die.

I found 50 cents in my pocket and I yelled success. It was so marry. I thought of something else that was kind of funny but after writing that morbid comedy up there, I forgot it. Maybe it will come back to me as I rant about how I forgot it. ....... NOPE. Oh well.

I have a Racquetball match this Friday at 1:30 in the RCC. So if you would like to watch and cheer me on, that would be greatly appreciated. I heard a saying the other day that went a little like this, "Throw the baby out with the bathwater". I was shocked that I thought it was so amusing. I still do. The other one was: Apathy, laid back to the max. Sounds exhausting and not very apathetic but whatever gets your motor turnin and your boat rockin, is fine with me. I will think of more when I draw on some picture and make some other stuff happen. LATER.

It Starts

I am sitting here in my new chair. School starts in t-minus something hours and some change, and I am excited. I would and could be more joyful but my stomach and other innards are raging against some type of machine. I drew a picture for you of what it looks like.



So there it is. I went to the Outlet Mall in Round Rock and then visited IKEA. Jacob, Jordan and Evan joined me. It was successful. Got chair, bitchin curtains, doo-doo brown pants, regular pants, black and yellow socks (Wiz Kalifa?) and some mass X gravity training gloves (weight). I am waiting for a hella lot of packages to come in. More clothes and a mattress topper. Sleep like a baby? I think so. Wait, does sleeping like a baby mean you wake up at odd hours crying for some tits? That doesn't make sense when you think about it.

I have not even printed out where I need to go for my classes. I shall do that or something sometime in the next 10 minutes. Can somebody stab me in the back so it can actually have a reason to inflict pain upon me. Yeah, I think I am spent, Ultimate was amazing, took a lot, I gave a lot, even exchange I would say. Later.

Well Well. We Meet Again

I feel so weird writing this entry on my computer. I have been doing it from my phone that this change of scenery is causing me to shiver. No, that can't be. OH, I know why, IT IS DAMN COLD. 9℃, and all I am wearing is a t-shirt and some shorts, AND THAT IS ALL. *WINK WINK* I feel like those are some angry winks or something. Like their sole purpose is to inform you that this is a wink that shall not fall on blind eyes. Something so obvious that if you miss it, it was probably because you were looking for it, and even then you would see it. So if you don't see it then I just don't know. I feel like you should make a deal with the devil and just fault on the deal and hand over your soul because you don't deserve it. Sorry, that was harsh. I apologize to your eyes for reading that.

So I missed Wipeout today and hopefully it will come on Hulu, I shall be quite sad if it does not.

I forgot to tell you about the veins. Alright, so I have this moderately bearable fear of veins. And it is not the vein itself, but what can happen to it. I do not like veins that pop out. I mean I like them in moderation but if they do one thing wrong and become too much, I have to look away. But the main problem is that someone can sever them. Most of the time I imagine somebody pinching the vein and lifting it up from its semi-protection of the body and plunging scissors into the skin, isolating the vulnerable vein in the middle of the slicing blades and then somebody closing the gap between the handles. Blood gushing everywhere, vein retreating into the body never being able to be closed. Death. That is one of my two biggest fears. The other is prostate cancer. I have been loving myself to make sure that the risk of the second is minute.

So I do not know if I said this but Easy A is an amazing movie. Freakin' funny as fuck. With that, I made 3 resolutions.

1. Deviate from the plan
2. Become healthier (not be skinny but make healthier decisions)
3. Minimize inhibitions

I think I can do these and I will become a better person. Oh and I am letting my facial hair grow. Not to unmanageable proportions but to where I can encourage a small patch of skin to become self conscience about its surroundings and grow hair. I found out that you can exercise your penis. I was stunned. I was like 'wha?!?' I didn't know that it was a muscle, and apparently it is. I got some Barnes and Noble gift cards and so I bought a book about it. I am weird. Did you know I can speak Braille? Here is my name: ⠓⠁⠍
Awesome right? I also got some yoga stuff because I decided I should do it to become more flexible for Ultimate and because doing it was almost like a cure. I have mid-lower back problems from an injury in highschool. When I was doing yoga in Theater class it actually helped. I didn't have one problem that whole year. I have been spending a lot of money lately, cash though. Something, I am not used it. I usually keep it almost entirely digital, but I guess it is a change and I am accomplishing my first resolution.

Some days I wonder if I will find love or if I will be single all my life. Sometimes I make up situations in my head about events that would never happen and try to make them emotional as can be using different techniques. I believe that if I were to write a chick flick, it would be the highest grossing film and would make you cry like the people were of your closest relationship. I think I can write dramas better than my favorite genre, horror, but that is the thing about being a Pisces. You love one thing and are horrible at it but you don't have a passion for another but you are excellent at it. Contradictions. Starbursts should just base their commercials off of me. I was supposed to read but I have not. I will finish this book. I have to. I rented other books from the public library and they are about mythology. And that one I really want to read. I am a sucker for mythology. I know I have more important stuff to say. Oh yeah. I organized and cleaned my room and I have this awesome wire crate system happening in my closet, which I don't know if I mentioned it. I have been downsizing my room. I know I am going to have a blast when I have to move out. Crap it is cold. I guess I will just go to sleep. I have to arrange a situation. I am going to see how silver my tongue really is. Later

Here in bed finished with the day ready to retire to sleep time.

The picture of the bags are what I carried, by myself, in ONE trip, from my truck to my apartment. I thought it was funny because when I opened the door, without putting down a single bag, there was a card shoved betwixt the door and its frame for a moving company. I couldn't help but think what an untapped resource I was for this company.

The other picture is of some tea I had at Teavana. It was the most delicious tea I have ever had. I nearly jizzed myself but stopped because I feared nobody would offer a face to clean it up with, ha, but mostly because I wanted to mate with this tea. I wanted to do things with this tea that could only be showed on the Discovery Channel that would be described as educational but it would show everything. This was a crazy day.

First my friend, Edgar, and I went to the mall for some after Christmas deals. I bought some awesome towels that don't leave a shit load of fucking lint everywhere like my blue and orange ones do, for 20 buck. It was only three towels but they are soft and made by Martha Stewart. She is a homemaker, so I trust her with home stuff and caressing my body, just not with my money. Then an amazing idea erupted. Old Navy was in this mall. I have not been in old navy in, no joke, 5 years. So a trip was over due. I bought some black jeans, not grey but black jeans, for 15 bucks. Amazing deal. I also got 2 v-necks and a polo. Prior to Christmas I went to the Domain and Banana Republic had an awesome sale and I got some pants from them. Now flashforward and we are leaving the mall. Yearning. For some food because we have not eaten. Food consumed. Best Buy got visited too. Then while on. The way back to Edgar's house something happened.

We can to a stop behind a white truck at a stop light. We were talking about a comment that his mother made and how funny it was. He looks in his mirror, "She's gonna hit me, she's gonna hit me". I was confused. I had no idea what he was talking about. Then I saw him lean forward a little bit as if to brace himself. Then it clicked, somebody was going to hit him from the back, as that thought ended a lurch took me by surprise. We had been hit by some lady. Hard. We pulled into the parking lot next to us and got out to check the damage. I was beginning to have a slight headache but nothing big. We walked to the back of the car and as if we had a force field, nothing happened to his car. Her's. Was damaged in the front but nothing major. It was funny because I thought we were going to have to do the whole collision dance and get info and blah blah blah. But nope. I have only been in 1 other crash before that and that was way scarier because a lady ran a red light and slammed into our truck on the passenger side, where I was sitting.

So I am home like I said and I am in a sleeping bag that I got from Jordan's closet. I forgot how much I love this thing. Like a new purchase. So warm I am.

I went to Target and got some cube organizers. And put some clothes in it from my closet and now my closet looks a lot neater. I bout 2 sets of 6 cubes. Idk if I want the other one because one set is amazingly spacious and sturdy and was more than I expected. I will still keep it because I can return it within 30 days. Or maybe it is 90, I will check that. I also ate pizza and watched I Survived for 4 hours. It was awesome. I downloaded more music and seriously need a new iPod and I want to buy a camera also. Shit so much to do. I want to go back to work. Something to do during the day. Anyways, I have to sleep so that I can wake up and go to target again so that I can get Resident Evil: Afterlife. I have a gift card to them that is why, plus they are the cheapest I have seen for that movie. More to come. I hope you liked my story telling abilities for this one. I took some tips from I Survived. Later.